"It Hurts"

When we were in China after we first met Jean one of the things we had to do to bring her home is take her for a medical exam.  We sat there waiting for her turn to have bloodwork done when it was her turn a lady came and took her from our arms(we weren't allowed to go back with her).  My husband and I sat outside the door fighting back tears waiting and preparing ourselves for the scream from the other room.  We were in early stages of bonding and building her trust and here we let them take her and poke her with a needle.  We waited and waited wondering is she scared? Is she looking for us? Should we have insisted on going back.  Then here she came back with the nurse not a single tear just a band-aid to prove they truly did do it.  We hugged her and told her we will take care of her.  Even though she didn't cry she hid her arm behind her back.  We figured since it hurt she wanted to hide it, protect it.  Later after coming home we had several medical appointments and again she never cried.  She got more bandaids!  Finally we realized it wasn't the pokes it was the bandaid that upset her.  Everytime she got one she would hide it behind her back.  We don't know what has caused her to dislike bandaids was it some sort of trauma, or maybe with her special need she doesn't like things sticking to her skin however what ever it was we knew for her they don't make things better.  Kisses work best. Not too long ago she got ill, and got a bad rash from her infection.  Then a couple weeks later she started losing her fingernails. :( Well tried to stay away from bandaids, but after a nail got caught on carpet at school and ripped her old nail and her new nail badly we insisted she leave them on.  We went and got some "Frozen" bandaids which made them special and we played a guessing game every time we put one on "who do you think it is?" she loved guessing.  For about 2 weeks or so we did this to protect her new nails until the others completely fell off.  After all the nails came off would you believe she was asking us for a bandaid for every hangnail :)  This may seem small to most but this was huge for her she was overcoming fears.

Another thing we noticed right away is that most children when they fall down or scrape themselves they belt out a loud cry.  The first time Jean got a little scrape we were so sad for her, not just because she got a scrape, but mostly because she didn't cry.  This is as sad as it is it is not uncommon for children from orphanages.  They stop crying because it serves no purpose, nobody comes to them.  This took love but after time of receiving love and compassion until she realised if she fell down we cared! I remember one day Owen, Mae,and I were at home with her when she came around the corner and fell both the kids and I came running to her rescue!  I will never forget that look in her eyes as she looked around at all of us and realized we were there to love on her.  We all hugged her and kissed her boo boo.  She teared up and cried just a little.  Her cry was forced, horse and not very powerful like she just didn't know how to do it.  Later that day Daddy came home and as soon as he came through the door she ran right up to him to show him her little boo boo, and instantly started sniffing and whimpering.  He looked at me in shock because she had never done this before.  My heart literally melted!  She knew that he loved her and that he to would care she bumped her finger. This is huge and are so glad that she feels loved enough that it is ok to cry.  Every day she grows more and is better at letting us know "It hurts" "I don't feel good".